At two in the morning I stepped across the hall into the room of my sleeping little sister. Without waking her I crawled in her bed and laid there, confused as first a wave of emotion and then a wave of peace came over me. A pang of realization caught inside of me, as it hadn't before. Surprisingly enough, I hadn't been nervous about the trip I'll be embarking on in just over two weeks. Mind you I have hardly started packing, let alone ordering many of my supplies. Last night, a list of all I need to do still formed in my head, and it seemed clearer than ever that I should be overwhelmed. But I'm not. 

I am typically a worrier. What if? What if? What if? How my stirring mind calmed so suddenly I don't know, but I have no doubt that God was with me. I remember wanting to cry, and I remember telling myself not to. I remember part of my prayer, saying "Lord, in every rough situation You were there carrying me. When I slipped up You made it all better, and when I was convinced I couldn't do anything more, You showed up with it done saying 'Surprise!' So Lord, I trust You with these burdens weighing on me, I trust You to take them off me, and I trust You to surprise me in Your own way, and in Your own surprising (but probably last minute) timing."

The trip hadn't felt real until last night. It hadn't hit me at training camp, it hadn't hit me at the fundraising deadline, it hadn't hit me as I was getting my vaccinations or saying goodbye to some of my friends for the next nine months. It hit me at two in the morning, when my room was too hot and my pillows weren't fluffy enough for me to sleep (….I might have a problem these next nine months.) Upon giving it to God though, I feel so much more content with this journey I'm starting. 

There are still so many people I want to meet up with, packing up life into just one backpack doesn't seem too manageable, and remaining on my feet financially when I get back from this trip is very questionable at this point, but worrying myself silly won't provide. Giving it to God, and still getting a move on will.

I got a really good night's sleep last night. Did you?